Disculpa las Molestias....

Before I begin, I want to stress that by no means is this a 'mine is better than yours' rant and that while I am complaining, it is meant to be a light jab at commuting in Buenos Aires, instead of a tirade.  Well....anyway, that's my intention. Let's see what happens.

First, friends, feast your eyes on a map of the BA subway (Subte) system:

I know most of us aren't the adept city planner I would be if I were a 16th century city planner/cartographer, but I don't even know where to start with this one.  Why don't any of the lines connect except all the way in Microcentro (ie Dante's Inferno/Satan's Lair)? Who planned this?! And can I go back in time and shake them? Is that orange zig zag on the left supposed to be a parallel universe? How does the other 75% of the land mass of the city get access to the subte?

OK. So. Now that we've got that out of the way. Imagine a city dweller who wakes up to go to work to find out it's going to be 75, sunny and  no humidity. Maybe s/he does a little Macarena or Tootsie Roll dance in celebration. Maybe s/he turns on some late 90s hip-hop, just sayin', you know, as an example of a potential display of joy on this winter day in the southern hemisphere.

WRONG! Expect to bring a change of clothes and your not-yet-invented-nor-likely-practical-if-invented portable shower since it's about 25 degrees hotter in the cars and on the platform. How do people do this when it's 100 degrees in Jan and Feb? Also, get it through your way-too-efficient-to-be-here-forever head that every hour is rush hour. Every. single. freaking. hour.  7am? Rush hour. 10:45pm? Rush hour. 11am? Rush hour. Lastly, there isn't the same respect for personal space on aforementioned Subte so expect about 4 people to be all up in your grill (grille?) in a spot technically/physically intended for 1 person.

Arrive at work in shock and awe and plan to share said story with your co-workers, 'knowing' they will be all, "That's crazy, girl- of course that never happens!" WRONG AGAIN! "Si the Subte has to carry x million passengers per day, of course it's like that." But...the NYC subway sys....nevermind.

Oh you thought you were done, readers. No no! I have yet to regale you with the ride home!


Five minutes pass.
Recording over Speaker on Platform: (in English): "One. Point. Five. Point. Thirty-Seven. Point. Eighty-Three Point-" <Speaker System Fails>

Five Minutes Pass.
Recording over Speaker on Platform: (in English): Thirty-Seven. Point. Eighty-Three. Point. Twenty-" <Speaker System Fails>

Five Minutes Pass.
Recording over Speaker on Platform: (in English): "Point. Twenty-Five. Disculpa-" <SPEAKER SYSTEM FAILS>

Five Minutes Pass.

Recording over Speaker on Platform: (in English): Point. Twenty-Five. (IN spanish) Disculpa La Molestia. No hay trenes a Tucuman en el Subte D porque-" <SPEAKER SYSTEM FAILS>  (Pardon the interruption. There aren't any trains on (green) Subway Line D to Tucuman because-"


Waste your fare, leave in search of a bus only to find everyone (54 people to be exact) have the same idea in line ahead of you for the bus, use another fare on the subte and take parallel (Again, PARALLEL- WHY!?) red line B, then walk 45 minutes home.  What should be a 15 minute trip door to door- walah!- has now mushroomed into 2 hours. Huepa!

Plans for the night? Hop on the...D...train...to... go back...downtown to the opera...Such is the life of an (faux) Argentine.

Happy Argentine Revolution Day!- A Photo Essay

Argentina's revolution against the Spaniards began May 25, 1810 and lasted until July 9, 1816. So they get two independence-related holidays. That's what I like to see. For the first of the 2, Kate and I decided to go to La Feria De Mataderos, and my word, we were not disappointed.

We sampled some of the best local fare (tamales, humitas, empanadas, choripan y pastalitos (spelling here is questionable) I have had to date:

 
                          That's what I like to see, people. Jugs of wine and chimmichurri sauce.

About 1/3 of our entire lunch. Pictured here are humitas (boiled and mashed corn in husks), tamales (pork and mashed corn filled husks), empanadas and the obligatory bottle of vino. Yea that's right.

El Rey De Choripan! And yes, he was! (Also, I found my future husband here. There IS a picture.)

Pastalitos! mmm these were way yummier than I was anticipating. 

We watched some amazing traditional folkelore dancing!

 The panuelo (handkerchief) dance!

 Loved this cute matching Argentine couple dancing in the fading afternoon light

This video took me 20 minutes to load. It better be the right one. 

Argentine gaucho swagga.

We watched gaucho games and saw a cute kid win (Ie catch the ring like this gentleman directly below did)!

And what Argentine Revolution Day would be complete without a night of tango and champagne (maybe too much champagne)!

Learning Spanish is like Being in a Relationship*

*I said 'like'.


Yea, that's right. I made that connection.  Bear with me, friends and misc readers, for what may be the weirdest thing I've ever written.  


1. That Butterflies-In-The-Stomach Feeling. When you first meet someone you really like, and you see him as you approach on the street at your previously arranged meeting spot, you have that stomach through the floor feeling. You get a little tongue tied and say things like, "If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?" in an attempt to be funny/imaginative/apparently NOT want a call back on date 2. Etcetera. It's like that with Spanish, especially with short exchanges in the Argentine pharmacy, where you want to say things like, "Do you have any anti-nausea drugs for being on a boat, for example?", but instead forget the word for 'nausea' and stumble around the joint like it's your first date with the pharmacist. (For the record, the word for 'nausea' is 'nausea', accent over the first 'a').  And yes, that happened today. 5 months into this Argentina stint. Shut up. 


2. You Think You Understand What's Going On, But in Reality, Um, No.
"Ohhh, you're really an extreme right-wing homophobe? Yea, this isn't going to work out."
"Ohhh, you really told me in Spanish NOT to go to that neighborhood because of a long-documented stream of violent muggings. Got it. Missed the whole 'no anda' part."


3. What The Person is Actually Saying To You Is Not What They Actually Mean.
I think there is a different word for 'refrigerator' and 'freezer' whether you're in Costa Rica, Argentina, Chile, Spain, Puerto Rico, Texas, etc. (In Argentina, for the record, it's 'freezer'.) It makes it a little rough when you're brushing off your Vintage Shelton High School ca. 1999 Mexico-brand of Spanish 13 years later in Argentina.  Additionally, never use the verb 'coger' in Argentina or Chile. In the rest of the Spanish-speaking world, it means 'to catch' or 'to take'. In Argentina and Chile it means...well it means to 'screw' and I'm not talkin' Habitat for Humanity 'screw a wooden wall board to a floor board' kinda screw. Ugh, it's impossible to keep it all straight!


Similarly, in a relationship, "I don't want anything more than what we have now" means, "Sayonara in 7-10 business days, sistah." Or if you say "Yes, I will go on another date with you, doll collector man I thought was normal when I met you at the bar last week," you really mean...nah.


4. You Really Want It To Like You. 
This might be the most 'stretched' connection, but it's true. When you're in a new relationship, blah blah blah- you feel me- I don't need to explain that. When you're speaking Spanish with new co-workers, for example, who, for example, maybe only speak in Argentine slang (Lunfardo, it's called), you may, for example, be desperate to keep up and add something to the conversation, maybe. Like yesterday, when I was at lunch with my new co-workers and I launched into a detailed story about the asado I hosted in February, when in reality that was a very big side-note to their conversation (which was really about one of the girls' husbands and how he has a 'very big appetite' if you know what I mean).  This 'wanting to belong' is like being in junior high all over again- minus a guy's 'very big appetite', at least in my 12 year old case. 


5. You Need To Stop 2nd-Guessing Yourself- Just SPEAK!
A lot of the world's relationship problems- mine included- could probably just be solved if people spoke to each other in a more direct way instead of inner monologues like "Well, he said x but does he mean y, or could he mean z and is DATE an appropriate day to bring q up because I didn't like q last week." It's the same with learning a language. If you're tongue tied and nervous to speak, you never will.  Make mistakes, open your mouth, Let's DO THIS.


6. When You Speak Only Spanish for Too Long/Only Speak to that One Person for too Long, your head explodes.  I have nothing further to say on this. 

"Just Say Yes."

Today, I went with Kate to a half-day conference for venture capitalists in Buenos Aires (http://geeksonaplane.com/).  Wait, rewind. What? Yes, I went to a conference.  It was like being at SuperReturn USA all over again. Except it wasn't.

Immediately, the conference psycho in me, from my years at my previous post, kicked into high gear. Among my  observations and quejas (inner complaints, mind you) were the following:

-The MC had her baby boy in her arms the whole time she was speaking. Where she tried to pry one of the microphones from his chubby little hands, he screamed BLOODY MURDER.  (I couldn't imagine me, giving opening remarks at Prepaid, or any event, with a baby in my arms). Which then set off, somehow, the sound system so it was Squelch City in that joint. The name tags weren't ready. There weren't enough chairs. The audience talked through the entire thing. The moderators came flying in after their session already started.  Blah, blah, blah, etc, etc, etc.

Ok, so now you're two paragraphs into this post and you're like, 'get to the point already lady' or 'where are the pictures?'

The point is, just say yes. (Unless it's a request to partake in illegal arms trafficking or do some meth). It's simple advice from a dear friend with kind of a neat blog (see link!).  Being here in Argentina, more so than any other time in my life so far, I have learned that there is always a benefit to doing something, saying yes, letting go- a purpose which may not present itself immediately.

However, today, I did sense that immediate purpose. Am I going to get a job in venture capital tomorrow? No, probably not. But the point is, MAYBE I will. There were a couple of other key takeaways:

1. After the initial event planner griping listed above, I got over it quickly and didn't give an F.
While I am grateful for my finance event production roots, today served as a confirmation of sorts. I made the right decision. Ya can't beat that jazz.

2. Dave McClure, keynote interviewee, in response to an audience member's question of "How do you learn from your mistakes and fail less next time?" said, "The most important thing to learn about failure is how to get used to it. It's a part of life and normal."  Now that I'm facing the oft-dreaded, "What do I do now?" quandary come August, it is reassuring to hear someone so successful in his own field talk about failure in a completely normal way. Maybe what I do next won't be the perfect thing for me. Maybe it will. Who knows and more importantly, who cares? Bring it, World.

3. The Argentines are quite disorganized.

Picture of the audience at the event...looks who's front and center:

I'm going to be working in una huerta!

Yea, I didn't know that word until today, either, never fear. BUT, now that I do, I am really really excited.

This afternoon, I went to my volunteer site for my first day. Or so I thought. It was a full-blown interview, completely in Spanish! My volunteer coordinator, Josefina, was there with me, but yea, I wasn't expecting that! We talked for about an hour, and we didn't need to revert to English once! So, on top of what I'm going to be doing, it was such an exciting development to find out I can interview in Spanish. Especially after last week, when I got back from the US, and was kind of down about how I was speaking (ie not well).

ANYWAY, so what is a huerta?

It's this:

 And this:

 And this!

I'm going to be working in a community garden dedicated to providing children in need proper healthy fruits and vegetables to help them lead a healthier life! This is kind of my dream come true. As most of you know, I love food. And I love good food. And I want everyone to be able to eat said good food!

It's a new organization dedicated to these sorts of initiatives all over the country. When I'm not working in the garden, I'm going to be helping them push their initiatives of a healthier Argentina through marketing efforts, social media, fundraising, etc. This is a new thing for meat-centric Argentina, and something that I am really excited to help out with...And the cherry on top is, that they conduct all their biz in Spanish!

I was always looking forward to these last few months here, but my excitement levels just went through the roof. Tomorrow I report to the garden to work with the kids and will report back. Que cosa!

I'm Baaaaaack!

I'm back in BA! So excited to be back and excited to see what the next 3ish months has in store.  But we'll get to that.

It's been awhile and a bunch has happened like:

1. GUESTS! I had some fabulous guests, with whom not only did I have a blast (is that proper English? I am forgetting), but I also had their never -repayable help on the way home from BA for wedding festivities.  (See point 2)

 Frankie and me outside on the top of Palacio Barolo 

We were outside the Casa Rosada crying "Eva Peron!" (or more like "Change my 100 peso note, for the love of god!)

 Brady and I break down. The man behind us registers his disgust. 

Club Human! Also known as the best going-out night of my entire life. Yes, Swayz, I had help with the pictured bottle of champagne. 

2. Hand Wounds! Wow, this was scary. I know I used this joke on lots of my friends already, but there goes my hand modeling career. What trip to South America is complete without a trip to the ER in an ambulance (they have neater sirens here),  a doctor whose favorite place in the world is Central Park, 12 stitches and giant bandages?! The "best part" about this was that it was 100% completely free. Pause there for a second. Not only do I not have health insurance, but I am not an Argentine citizen.  Amazing. This would have costs thousands in the US.

Scroll quickly if squeamish:

3. This lady got married on Cinco De Mayo- seriously, what could be a better combo?: 

4. I got to wear my taco costume . 

5. There was a photo booth. On Cinco De Mayo. With a taco costume in the nearby vicinity:

Now that I'm back in BA, I'm busy planning portions of the next 3ish months (can't quite get the planny plannerson out of me altogether). On the shortlist:

1. Got a pair of custom-made boots. In the land of leather and (hot) polo players,  a fabulous exchange rate and cheaper prices, this is THE place to do it. They ship anywhere in the world, so if you're interestedddd:
http://www.lacasadelasbotas.com.ar/

2. Trip to Galapagos! I got a pretty cool camera to get up close and personal with the animals (and Julie's bridesmaids, much to their chagrin- sorry ladies) and I'm really looking forward to it, especially to camping on the islands for 2 nights with said animals!

3. Picking up the Spanish: Wow, I need to get back on the bandwagon, my friends! I think I said "You should hang up that painting on the vest" yesterday. Ugh. At least that's better than wandering into a pregnant ladies' yoga studio like I did in January.

4. Volunteering: I have a new position volunteering in BA starting May 15! I'm excited since I have wanted to get back into it for awhile- plus it will be a great way to enhance #3 above. I don't exactly know what I'm doing yet since I was supposed to go to a meeting the day I decided to cut open a vein and bleed all over my apartment building. (Thanks, Lorena, Arturo and Elba for being my first responders and clean up crew!)

5.  Teatro Colon: My friends and I want to make sure we get an opera in while we're down here...BA is supposed to have some of the best opera in the world, rivaling NYC, London and Paris. Really excited to check it out.  Maybe while I'm there, I'll try out...I am pretty good at karaoke....

6. Potential trip to Colombia!....Not sure if, when, how, where, how long, etc yet, but research is starting in 3...2...1..

Thanks for checking in! Looking forward to sharing the next 3 months with you! It's going to go quickly and then....real world again :(