Well, anyway, by my standards (which was basically an all-out panic) and by the several Argentines who came to my asado last night, it was a solid success! I am beside myself with happiness/relief/exhaustion/insert other emotion here. As I sit on my porch recapping the night for this post, I am more than satisfied with the evening.
For all ya'll who are unfamiliar with the term, 'asado' refers to a specific cut of beef, yes, but it also refers to the BBQ an Argentine (or me, in this case) puts on for a group of friends or family, and features all the cuts of beef, including the innards (sweet breads, blood sausage, etc etc). It typically takes a few hours to do, and by the time it's ready to eat the bulk of it, everyone is good and drunk. Argentines are a very communal, 'there's always room for one more' kind of people, and I like to think we embodied that last night. Here's our fabulous group!
I took the liberty of compiling your very own step by step How-To-Guide when preparing and executing an asado:
-1. Find an parrilla (actual apparatus/grill for an asado). I am lucky enough to have one in the backyard area of my apartment complex.
1. Go to the grocery store.
1a. Go to the grocery store
1b. Go to the grocery store
1c. Repeat steps 1, 1a and 1b 3 times.
2. OR Go to the JUMBO grocery store near your house and take care of 1, 1a, 1b and 1c in one shot. We had quite the adventure at the JUMBO yesterday morning (it felt like Wegman's! I am in love! My very basic diet here has officially been cured!). Lorena advised me to buy 500g of beef per person. The night before, the number of people swelled to 20, but we weren't quite sure if that was an official figure. So, we did what any responsible meat eater would do- we bought 10kg of beef. (22lbs)
2a. Accidentally make off with a lady's cart without realizing it, only to have her chase you down an aisle to reclaim it 5 minutes later. Look down, and realize you have about 10kg of bananas in your cart. Yea, lady, this is NOT mine. Sorry. Gross.
3. Take a taxi home the 5 blocks you need to walk, mainly because you are carrying 10kg of beef, which doesn't include the misc other things purchased, including carbon (coal), veggies for 3 different salads, giant loafs of bread, butter (Argentines don't use butter- oops), proveleta (OMG- provolone cheese patty topped with oregano and tossed on the grill to melt to perfection)
4. Sing Whitney Houston's "I want to dance with Somebody" with the mas o menos 70 year old cab driver and tell him your childhood story of dancing to said song with a hairbrush in the mirror. Commiserate when he tells you he loves her too, before blasting the volume and breaking it down together.
5. Arrive home and realize that you forgot about 5 items.
5a. Go back to the grocery store.
6. Go the gym to avoid thinking about how you are going to cook 10 kg of beef for 20 people. You are still unsure of how many people are going to show up.
7. Ferry about 8 trips of food down from your apartment on the 10th floor with all of the food. There is a kitchen right near the grill for preparation work and salad composing. It really worked out perfectly.
8. Find an AMAZING parrilla person- official name asador (hmm maybe I should have thought about that earlier.) My new friend Yuriel, amigo de Lorena, was INCREDIBLE!
9. Run around, make sure everyone is OK, help Yuriel (ie fill his wine glass continuously), make salads with Lorena, drink wine.
10. Repeat step nine 39 times.
10b. Cut the vegetables up for the grill in big pieces to 'help'. Then have someone tell you you're actually supposed to keep them whole, wrap them in foil and throw them on the grill to cook. Ugh- Americans. Can't wait for proper direction!
11. As the cuts of beef become available, play host and bring them around on a platter for consumption as seen below:
Fran 'prepping' Lorenas' egg and potato and parsley salad. Delish!
My saviors. This would not have been possible without these two!!
12. Relax and enjoy. Hang out with your friends. Eat 500g of beef and 1 liter of wine. Throw in 1/2 lb of salad to 'be healthy.'
13. Have an AMAZING breakthrough in your Spanish career! For the first time, I was able to switch languages to Spanish to have a conversation I didn't want non Spanish speakers to hear. Amazing!
14. It is the duty of the host (me) to call for everyone's attention and say: "Permiso, una aplausa para el asador!" (Yuriel) and everyone cheers. Exciting!
15. Yell "NECESITO LAVAR TODOS LOS PLATOS" to your friends, clean up and go out to a bar/club. Seriously. Consume more wine.
16. Come home at 4am and have leftover beef from fridge.
gross
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